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Tuesday, June 30, 2015

CREDIT: MISCHIEVOUS KISS OFFICIAL WEBSITE (SEUNG JO'S DIARY COLUMN)
Translated to Chinese By: Korea Version Mischievous Kiss
Translated to English By: reena29shadow
Edited By: ChaBori204


EPISODE 16 (END)



Compared to the dazzling sunlight, love that you are not able to stop is much more dazzling. In this morning that filled with love, the morning when both of us rode on our couple bikes.



When Hae Ra saw our bikes, she coudn't help but to tease us. Mom forced us to drink couple tea, and wear couple outfit to school, making my tummy hurts. Because my unique Mom, there's really too many things she does that make me embarrass. But slowly, I'm getting used to it.
“Really not wearing the ring?”
“Yes, wear it only after registration.”
Ha Ni was a little motivated by it. Telling Hae Ra the reason for not wearing the ring loudly, is to make Ha Ni works hard studying to become a nurse.
“Amazing! Ha Ni really revolves around Baek Seung Jo!”
“The Earth is always revolving around the sun isn't it?”
She seems shock by my confidently reply. “Of course.”
We are already married. Of course we will have to go into the same course. The two us is as one in this world.


Saw Ha Ni holding to my wallet when I came out from taking bath. She must be planning something. I guessed it just by looking at her eyes. But I just act like I know nothing to tease her.
“Ya! Now you are starting to go through your husband's wallet?”
Once she handed the wallet to me, her face blushed and her palm was even sweating. So cute. Thought that I don't know anything? You and Mom must be planning something. Looks like I have to put my wallet under my pillow.


Just as I expected, when I was pretending to sleep, she took my wallet carefully from under my pillow. Wait till morning, we'll know what they are up to. Silly Oh Ha Ni.


The two women knew that I havr already registered for the marriage. You don't know that you can never escape from me? Silly.
Actually when you decided to tranfer to nursing course, I've already prepared all the document for the application.
Once there's an aim, she will be able to bring out her potential is Ha Ni's strong point. Just want to make her study harder. But because of the delay in registration, she looked disappointed. Looking at her being so sad, I can't not do anything anymore. Been paying much more attention to Ha Ni's every move recently. Didn't think that I will see her with this expression before.
Love is something that helps you see things that you aren't able to see before, hear things that you aren't able to hear before.
Like to tease you because I love you. It's very interesting. You always make me smile. That's why I'm doing all these.


Because of you, Bong Joon Gu confessed that  the one he likes is still you in front of Chris, and you are still deep in his heart. What other things between them that they have not told me? He's still so determined.
Uneasy feeling filled up my heart, clutching tightly to the chair. Shouldn't turn my head but to Ha Ni, I should be the only guy, and not putting her effort on other people.


Oh Ha Ni was talking about what happened previously. Worried about others. Worried that Joon Gu and Chris couldn't get along well. Really like to help others.
“You should be happy. Married woman and still having rumors?”
Wanted to act as though it's okay but unknowingly I still spoke the thoughts in my heart. Ha Ni who were usually slow in realizing such things were specially fast in guessing my thoughts today.
“You are jealous!”
The jealous me can only listen to you making fun of me quietly. Oh Ha Ni, you caught my tail again.
“What jealous? Tsk..how can I possibly be jealous...”
Baek Seung Jo jealous over someone like Bong Joon Gu? But my voice already said everything.
“Stop bothering them. Let Joon Gu's realize his own feeling slowly.”
“That's what happen to you right? Stop bothering you and you realized your feeling!”
Poking me and tickling me.
There's really nothing I can do about Ha Ni recently. No matter how she disturbs me, there's nothing I can do. When did you come into my heart like this?
Just like roots. In the place that I couldn't see. Growing slowly, merging slowly, growing up day by day, unknowingly eating up my heart like eclipse.
Oh Ha Ni! Guys need to have self-esteem! Even if it's true, I also can't admit it!
“Quick study!”
No use struggling.



Been study really hard recently. Able to answer all the questions I asked. Saying that she has an aim. If she passed, she wants to go on a date on Christmas. This is also something I want to do. Looking at her pleading, I felt really bad.
Right. We really have not gone for a date and we already got married. The wedding was also held casually because of Mom. And both of us getting busy on studies after the wedding, didn't do anything.
“Okay, let's go for a date.” Just the thought of you I can't help but smile.
Okay, Ha Ni! Living each day like what we are used to. If we want to live each day full of colours, we will have to work hard together. Little by little, although it might be tiring, but let's work hard together.


Saying that she wanted to practice CPR, Ha Ni's lips came so near mine.
Heart was racing! Also felt this during our wedding, but when she came very near to me, my heart will react really fast. Intense like thunders and lightning. Afraid that Ha Ni will notice my heart racing, I said “Ya! What are you doing? It's emergency and you are still feeling it?”
One, two. One, two. Whenever you touch me, my temperature went up bit by bit. Just like hail falling, that's love. Still have to practice, slowly pulling Ha Ni into my arms and said “Rest awhile, come over!”


From the night that I jokingly pull you into my arms when my parents were not home, the night after the mischievous first kiss, you have always been on my mind.
Because we are staying together, I can always see your wet hair, wrapping yourself only in towel after taking bath, showing your smooth shoulders, the nice fragrance from you as you walked past me. Your face always appear on my mind during the sleepless night, very tiring.
Now is the time that I can hug you whenever I want. Life like this is really good. Pulling you into my arms, lying in my arms. You have been like my name, gentle and warm since long time ago.


Eun Jo wanted to ask about homework opened the door suddenly. Both of us jumped up immediately. The good atmosphere was being interrupted by Eun Jo. You already have brother-in-law, have to be more careful. This kid, have to educate him properly. Tell him opening the door of a newlywed with only just one knock on the door is not right.



Today is the day Ha Ni is taking her exam. Mom wanted her to relax but she herself was very worried. But I know that Ha Ni has been working really hard studying. Compared to being worried, more of hoping her hard work will be able to bring her good results. Ha Ni, fighting!

You who always give me courage whenever I met with trouble, thank you. Love, I want to be with you. Feel your pure and beautiful heart. Go to the place that we can go together, do the things that we can do together. This is also part of love.



Failed the entrance exam. Took for nursing course too easily. This is something that concern about human life. Feeling ashamed and tired, Ha Ni looked really pitiful. Work really hard but didn't get good result. Although it's a pity, but there's nothing we can do about it.
Saying that she have to get prepared for tranfering to other course, my heart dropped. Empty. I also did look forward to be wearing the white robe together with Ha Ni to help others. How should I comfort the discourage Ha Ni?
“Really wish to go on a date with Ha Ni. Going crazy from the thought of it but promise is a promise, can't break it. But if it's just a dinner, it should be okay?”
A present for you.
“Really?”
You sounded chirpy and your expression brightened up.



Waited for you for very long time. I'm so worried about you...
Listening carefully to the sound of people walking pass, looking at people walking, my heart dangling there. It's getting darker, my heart also getting more uneasy. Like sprinkling salt in my heart, my heart tightened as if there's needle poking.


When I saw you walking in, how am I going to survive without you now?
You afraid that I will go off just like this, your face turns pale, standing there, running towards me to reconfirm, this is the first and also the last time.

“I thought you went off!”
Felt surprise that I waited you till these late? You start crying in my arms.
Silly! I know you will be here no matter how late it is. You will come to me. Because of this, how can I go off without you?
Your heart is filled with me… all the tour is mine…
How can I just walk off like this, Silly.
I do this because I believe in you.


“I’m going to retake! Originally, I wanted to be a nurse because of you. But now it seems like it’s something really great!”
Although you had a hard time trying to save people today, but you also realize something new.
She who felt discouraged because of failing the exam seems to have found new energy today. That’s great.
Yes, I will help you. Try it harder again. Yes, starting over again, that’s Oh Ha Ni.
Great, not doing it because of Baek Seung Jo but for yourself. You found the thing you want to do.
You are a gift from Heaven to me. With you by my side, every Christmas is enjoyable and happy. No matter when, take a look, have to treasure the ones beside you. Trying hard to realize, the Oh Ha Ni will tell you everything. Even she picked fruits, she will teach you how to do it.   
My girl Oh Ha Ni, no beautiful lightings, no Christmas Carols but it’s this day that we all get a very precious present, called ‘Life’. Thank you for giving me this present. Merry Christmas!
Merry Christmas! The love that completes me, I Love You!


I kissed you, you kissed me. This wonderful time defeats all languages. A little more hug, a little more kissed, a little more touches, I guarantee that I will listen to you more.
Confess to you first thing in the morning that how much I love you. Every evening, confess to you how much I have been missing you for the whole day.


Although we are not saying anything but tasting each other lips wins all languages.
I love you, taller than the sky. Very childish words!
I Love You!!!
Forever…
So far ever that I don’t even dare to promise.

THE END.



Thursday, February 13, 2014

CREDIT: MISCHIEVOUS KISS OFFICIAL WEBSITE (SEUNG JO'S DIARY COLUMN)
Translated to Chinese By: Korea Version Mischievous Kiss
Translated to English By: reena29shadow
Edited By: ChaBori204


EPISODE 15


This is ridiculous! Getting married at 21 years old? Mom, I beg that you stop interfering my life. Mom is the reason why I hid my feelings for Ha Ni till now. I still don't have the power to stop Mdm Hwang Geum Hee enthusiasim towards Ha Ni. Plus,I'm the one who mention about getting married. There's nothing I can say anymore. I should have just say we'll try dating. Why did I say about getting married? And now it turns out this way!

Caught hold by my Mom. But maybe Mom is right. School will definetely starts to get busy when I get into Medical School. Definetely doesn't have time. Maybe after marriage I will have a much quiet and comfort environment for studying. But wedding preparation is much complicated that I imagined. Wedding ring, gown, photoshoot. Specially hate wedding photoshoot.

Just by the thought of the past when I was being tortured by my Mom...it's not funny at all. Even if I have to force myself I still couldn't.

Look here, look there. Have to do as what others ask me to is not me, Baek Seung Jo's style. This is the moment that I really want to run away from. There's really a lot of things after getting into Medical School, but this two women have to make my life so difficult. Indeed. The path towards being an adult is complicated and dangerous. Can't it be more simple? I really couldn't understand those women who have to make the even so complicated and grand.




“Won't be able to accommodate you even after we got married?”

Seung Jo-ah...why? You are the one who says that you like me and want to get married with me. Love is for two persons to look for our similarities. Love is about accomodating. That's it. Right now. Even saying things like this! Is this what you wish for? This is all you can give? So I still can't expect anything from you. If what I'm getting in the end is disappointment, the so-called love...so I still can't expect anything. The so-called love...how much I long for you....Egoistic Baek Seung Jo, I hate you!!



To Ha Ni who have always been accommodating to me no matter how stubborn I am. I still said things like “I'm full of regret now, but it's still not too late to think about it!”

The depress look on Ha Ni is making my heart broke. Indeed, it's difficult for someone like me to explain things properly. I always knew that no matter when I were to say things like this, it will make Ha Ni feels sad.

I just dislike all the formality that takes so much time and just don't like my Mom to interfere with my life. Ha Ni was also got involved suddenly in this. She must have felt more lost than me. But I still went my anger on her. Even if it's difficult, but I just have to express my true feelings to Ha Ni will do.

Because she already have met the me, who will feel frustrated but will also be able to smile and live my life.

Love requires practice right? That way to say things that is embarrasing. The way that are able to express my true feelings. When comes to love, any genius is clumsy. Just when I was thinking about doing something for Ha Ni to comfort her, I thought of Ha Ni's Mom and Grandma. Both who left Ha Ni behind when she's still so young must be in pain. Looking at father-in-law sitting all alone in the dark restaurant, it's just felt heavy as if I saw a big stone. The feeling of a man like father-in-law having to send off his only daughter, how unwilling and lonely will it feel? How lonely will it be to be without his wife.




Under the blue sky, even a place like this is full of green. In this land without giving and taking, everything is quiet and peaceful. Here to a place that all pain and sorrow are left behind. Greeting Mom and Grandma. First time meeting you. Mom, Grandma, will you accept me? Mom, I will protect her. Regardless of illness, sorrow or hardships...will always be by her side to protect her. Mom, thank you for giving birth to Ha Ni, allowing her to come to my side. For her to inherit your passion, thank you.

No matter how cram, she's still able to come by my side a step at a time. Because of Ha Ni's never-give-up will, I finally understood that she's a woman that really deserves to be loved. We will definetely be blessed. Living each day doing our best.

Grandma, thank you for telling Ha Ni such beautiful things. Being happy and bringing happiness to others. When I was still hesitating, this words become very important key in my life. Here, I'll accept your blessing and thank you for bestowing Ha Ni to me.




Mom, Grandma, I'm getting married. Saw it? This is the person I love. He's handsome, does well in everything. He's a wonderful husband. Although at times he will make me feel sad, but he also makes me feel absolute happiness.

Seung Jo-ah, thank you. Thank you for comforting the pain in me that even I start to forget about. I think I will forget Mom's face, Grandma's face. I always worried that if I forget, Mom and Grandma will also forget about me. So I always have to look at their photos before I go to bed. Thank you for comforting me. I'm really grateful that it's you. Baek Seung Jo, who is standing beside me. Very happy that you understand my pain.




That happy? Just because we are going to Jeju Island, you are so happy that you started jumping around me. So cute! I can't help but smile. Okay, keep smiling beside me.

Teasing you is really interesting. Teasing you slightly, you start to throw temper. But after a while, you'll start smiling again. Looking at your smile...gives me the feeling that I'm really alive. Great!




“Hyung, from my point of view, you should get married with someone like Oh Ha Ni. Both of you will be happy. Congrats!”

Yes, Eun Jo. Even you see it that way. Just like you said, Oh Ha Ni indeed foolish, but this fool is able to do many things that I'm not able to. She can read others' thoughts. She can get close to others very easily. She's not afraid to jump into the sea even she doesn't know how to swim. So I like Oh Ha Ni. 10% of her is enough to cover up all the blanks in me.




“Dad, thank you!”
“You can't cry. People will tease you tomorrow that you don't look nice!”

Through the smile that Dad managed after much difficulty, I can see Dad's tears in her eyes. The smile that Dad finally manage to garner. I think at this moment, he must be having a terrible time burying his thoughts for Mom.

Don't cry Oh Ha Ni. After losing his love, he still have to send his only daughter away. Isn't it too much to cry for someone who will be going to the side of her loved one? The reason for tearing is sorrow. So when I smile again, my heart is filled with unlimited amount of feelings made up of sorrow and happiness.




'Dang...dang...dang...dang...'
I will live well, don't worry about me.
'Dang...dang...dang...dang...'
Please don't blame yourself anymore for not able to give me more. Because Dad, you gave me the love that I'm not able to exchange for with everything in this world.




Me, Baek Seung Jo, vows to bride Oh Ha Ni.




Me, bride Oh Ha Ni, vows to groom Baek Seung Jo.

No matter under what circumstances, I will always love him, respect him. Also respecting elders, becoming the honest and reliable other half. The most important thing is, I will only love you. Living each day with happiness I have with you in my heart. Living each day with feeling thankful to you in my heart.




Oh Ha Ni, you even dropped the wedding ring! How stupid.
“Stop bullying me Baek Seung Jo. Second kiss is not at that time in the rain but it's at the resort isn't it? You can't really act.” Ha Ni's face suddenly brightened up.

Baek Eun Jo! How could you let out the secret! What are you doing, Oh Ha Ni? You are too daring. Adults are all around! Even so, I still very happy. This is the first time you initiated to kiss me.

Although filled by the laughter of our guests, face burning with embarrassement, but my heart warmed up slowly. Like a giant fragrance sachet exploding. Like how fragrance diffussed deep into your heart.




“I will work hard. Although I still have many shortcomings, but I will try my best to become a suitable wife to you.”

Ha Ni, you don't have to work hard for it. I like you the way you are. Although there are times you make me panic, times that I feel you are really absurd. But no matter how you are, you are still the one I like. I will fill up your shortcomings. As for my shortcomings, I hope you can fill it up for me. Please become the little part of me. The little part that is going straight into my heart now.




Silly Oh Ha Ni.

Drank the whole glass of wine and fell asleep. Our first night, there's so much to look forward to. How should we spend this sweet and happy night? Listen to music? Light the candle? Okay, so I'm the only one considering about all these...

Complain about headache once you woke up, not only making me speechless, also causing us not to be able to do anything, silly.




What's wrong with you? Other girl holding on to your husband like this and you are not going to do anything? Didn't you say you love me? Please be more proactive. I keep turning back to look for you. This girl who kept following me was really irritating!

But because I pity her useless husband, worried the atmosphere would turn bad, so I just let her be. But what's wrong with you? Chatting so happily with oher guy...




Oh Ha Ni, what are you doing now? Why? It's only a simple check up for patient. If you can't accept it, there's no way we can live together, you understand? If you always behave like this, how can we go on in future? There's still difference between female and male patient? It's really pointless jeolousy...




You think I don't have any pride? Why do you always have to embarrass me in front of others? Reproach me in front of that woman. There are times I don't know which path I should take. Actually you don't love me as much as I love you. It's so lonely to walk with someone like you. It's still better when the time of my one sided love. Without expecting anything, will feel happy just by looking at your back view. Seung Jo-ah, sometimes even when I look down on myself, I'm afraid that if I continue to expect anything from you, I will start to hate you. I'm really afraid.



So you are here.

Running out looked for you who cried and ran away. I already thrown all the anger away from my mind. Me, who are helpless when I comes to love have lost you. Now you must be crying somewhere alone. I searched for you frantically. There's really no way to spend a peaceful day. Naughty Oh Ha Ni. You silly girl. You still don't understand my feelings?




Ha Ni, sorry! I told myself during our wedding that I will not make you cry anymore. Because when I see your tears, it's as painful as throwing my heart into burning charcoal.

So, just smile. This is the only only reason that I will smile. You look prettiest when you are smiling. Once you smile, I'm willing to piggy back you round the world. When you smile, I'm willing to be an idiot for you.



Finally, there's only the two of us left. Why did I feel so nervous? Smelling your fragrance was making me giddy. Why was my heart thumping so fast? As though my whole body and heart were burning. Heat building up in my body.

You always make my heart races faster. As though the emerging spring water, as though a blown up balloon, my heart was being filled up.



Silly girl. Cute at times and pretty at times. Why do I like you? Not really that pretty nor cute. Why do I always miss you? What have you done to me? Why do I feel like I'm being poisoned by you. It's so solid and urgent. Things that I can see seems so shiny. Anything that I touch felt so good. I think this is because I love you.

Feels like the wind is laughing. Feels like the birds are laughing. I think these is because I love you. When I hugged your shoulder, I realized that you were trembling. I think this is because you love me. If you're no longer exist in this world, how am I going to live my life?




I waited too long for this moment. After much suffering, my heart races towards you. I opened the lips that you shut tightly because of being shy. Hugging you as though you are a reward to me. It felt so warm to be close to you. It's like I've been living here all along, perfect warmth. Not feeling unfamiliar at all. The love that makes us dizzy flowing between us, in this moonlit night. Without any words, we were able to feel each other blood racing.

What? Asked me to wait for a minute? I was not able to breathe for the past two nights. Only looking at the sleeping you, do you know how hard it was for me to suppress the hot blooded me?




Let us grow together. We...working hard.
My little Noah's snail. My Oh Ha Ni. Until the day you become a tree, till you are able to provide shade, till you are able to produce fruits.

Me who uses registration of marriage as reward was indeed a little annoying. But teasing you is really interesting. I couldn't stop it. If I were to surrender to you and Mom so easily, wasn't it a let down to my name of genius Baek Seung Jo? The invisible Baek Seung Jo won't surrender to you so easily. It would hurt my pride! Keke!

The thought of me living my life under the control of you and Mom is making me feel the agony. So I'm definitely not going to surrender. Love requires to have some regulator like this, fighting! My forever joy, Oh Ha Ni!


Wednesday, January 22, 2014

CREDIT: MISCHIEVOUS KISS OFFICIAL WEBSITE (SEUNG JO'S DIARY COLUMN)
Translated to Chinese By: Korea Version Mischievous Kiss
Translated to English By: reena29shadow
Edited By: ChaBori204


EPISODE 14



Don't say anything about you liking other guys. Only till now I'm saying the words that's been buried in my heart. To hear you say you like other guys personally is a very painful thing for me. Now my only wish is that you still have me in your heart. Only me and I was here because of this.

Hugging you, now all the hesitations are over. My uncertain feelings have also been settled. The thoughts about not knowing what to do with you have also subsided. The rain is falling like shining stars. To me, it seems as beautiful as if there are millions of stars.


Oh Ha Ni is moving out!”

Please don't go anywhere now. Because I'm holding on to Ha Ni's hand now, because I'll definitely not let go of your daughter.

I have something to tell you. I wish to get married with Oh Ha Ni. Hope that Dad can approve to it.”

Hearing me calling him 'dad', uncle's eyes grew bigger, seems like you are really in a shock. Right too, the unconcerned kid suddenly telling you that he wished to get married.

After calming down, “Are you sure about it?”

Yes!” Yes, I'm sure!

Just like what you see, both our hands holding on tightly is all my feelings. Please approve us!


You know our Ha Ni can't do anything well.”

I know.”

(When she first started school, I also wanted to help her with her hair like other children but guy's hand is always clumsy. But this kind of girl still happily said that the ugly plait was nice. So Seung Jo-ah, please love and take care of her for me.)

Not smart, couldn't cook well too...”

(When she's going for school excursion, I helped her made kimbap. Her classmates all said that her mom was really good at cooking. Our Ha Ni couldn't bring herself to tell her classmates her mother is no longer around but she cried when she reached home. Seung Jo-ah, can you love her more on behalf of my wife?)

She's very careless and silly at times.”

(There are certain things that are not convenient to tell her father. Many things I only found after it happened. So I always felt sorry towards Ha Ni. Seung Jo-ah, please care for her more. Sorry for falling in love with our not-outstanding Ha Ni and thank you for accepting all the shortcomings of Ha Ni.)




I felt the feeling of a father through his tears. Bearing the loneliness alone. Taking the responsibility to bring up the child all alone but still always worrying about not doing enough. I felt all these at that moment.

Even so she's still very cheerful and if there's something that she thinks it's right, she will be determine to do it. This is why this kid is cute. I agree, because Ha Ni likes you very much!”

Thank you for approving us to be together. Maybe what Ha Ni has only that little but that's all that I'm lack of. Ha Ni who has everything that I'm lack of, I'll give her 100 marks for it. So, I will work hard.

Although I have no idea what is tacking from a father like you, but I will do my best to love her. Thank you once again for handing Ha Ni to me.




Ha Ni, great, great! Baek Seung Jo, that's really awesome!”

Indeed that's Mom. Words from my mouth isn't the fact. Always understand other people's words in her own ways. But it's all because of Mom. Because of Mom, I always warn myself not to open my heart to others easily.

You always interfere my life as you wish. But today, I want to forgive you for everything. Because of you, I get to know Ha Ni. Also because of you, I'm able to face my true feelings about falling in love with Ha Ni, the thought of wanting her tight to me.




Hugging you in my arms carefully.

“What happens?”

Keep smiling like this, your smile is like a lamp that brightens up my heart. My lover who is warm as spring, are you willing to use your smile to keep my warm no matter when or where?

“What?
“I'm just worried that when I wake up tomorrow, you will turn back into the cold Baek Seung Jo.”
“So, want to sleep together tonight?”

You want me to reconfirm for you, reconfirm my true feeling, reconfirm that all this is true and is not a dream.

“I really can't believe it...that you will like me!”
“Me too!”

Actually, when the time that we both know nothing, the love have already started burning. The silly you who doesn't understand love, the silly me who doesn't understand love...

The thing you said tonight and your smile have already burnt into my heart. This is the first time I accept my true feeling. Also the first time that I met love.



Okay. I understand all your uneasiness. All these happen so suddenly. Till yesterday, I'm still so cold towards you, suddenly saying I like you today. But you silly girl, you just live to look at me closely, letting down all your self-conscious. Open your eyes and look closely at me, I think you will be able to feel it.

You will realize I'm doing everything that you want me to, I'm trying to fill up the missing parts in your life. Silly, although I'm also smiling like you. Thank you love, thank you for your long wait. Thank you for not giving up on me.




Thank you Yoon Hae Ra. To you, I don't want to apologize. Because I know you are really alike with me. Our alikeness makes me feel comfortable. But this comfortable feeling isn't enough to fill up what's missing in my life. I keep telling myself how compatible you are with me but whenever I think of you, it's like looking at myself in the mirror. All I can feel is a piece of cold glass when I put out my hand.




Sorry Bong Joon Gu. I know you have done a lot all these time for your love but I can't leave Ha Ni. She makes me angry,makes me smile. Sometimes, she makes me panic. She also makes me feel absurd at times, but that's what makes me feel that I'm really alive. Maybe for others, it's easy to feel it. But for me, the feelings are already buried deep in me. So deep that I don't even know it exists, till Ha Ni woke it up. Snatching Ha Ni who are really precious to you, I'm really sorry. But I will treasure her, protect her on behalf of you.




“What should I do? Academic points are not enough! I'm really not suitable for studying. Why not I just stop here?”

Looking at Ha Ni saying that she doesn't want to study anymore disappointed me a little.

When all others around you are doing their best to study for their academic points, what are you doing? Have you thought about your future? Going to school without your brain everyday, that's why you even calculated wrongly. Causing the lack of it now!”

The kid who always do her best for everything, what happen to her? Maybe because of the worries, harsh words just came out of my mouth.

“So giving up studies just because of the lack of points? Someone like you, other than your will power, what else do you have? The Oh Ha Ni like this is not attractive at all!”

I only wanted to tell you, just work a little harder. Just try harder.
You said loudly, “I might be going to other guys!”

What? Other guys? I told you not to say you like other guys! Have you forgotten about it? Suddenly a gush of heat appeared.

You still have the courage? Bong Joon Gu? Or Sunbae? If you can go to other guys, can we still come so far? Isn't it because that no matter how hard we tried, we only have each other in our eyes that able us to come till this far? Coming to and fro like this so many times, and you still say things like that so easily...

“Up to you!” I said what I didn't mean and walked out.




Ha Ni didn't come home last night. Someone seems to have said before, if you love someone, you have to give up half of yourself. But I selfishly hope that I can keep the other half and say all the harsh words to you. Why can't I express myself properly in front of you?

Regrets and worries are making me not able to stay calm. It's okay, you have so many friends, definetely will be at one of their home. Must be. I can only comfort my tortured heart like this.
Couldn't call you. I could only keep staring at my phone. The image of you at a certain alley withstanding the cold weather keeps appearing in my mind and so my eyes keep looking out of the window unknowingly.




“Because you are not going to look for Ha Ni, even I also want to leave this house! But since it's already like this, just let us settle it ourselves, this is for Ha Ni's good. But...do you know? Feelings are not like an exam question that only have one answer although I myself doesn't know what is the correct answer.”

Yes Mom. I also have no idea what is the correct answer. I think Ha Ni doesn't know it as well. That's why she's so lost. But we still have to go look for it isn't it? If we are going to find out ourselves, we will have to put in effort. Can't give up no matter how hard it is, can't run away from it no matter how tiring it might be. This is suppose to be something Ha Ni is best at, Ha Ni's good point.

But recently, Ha Ni always only wants to rely on me. This is worrying me. I hope that it's not me pulling Ha Ni forward. I hope that we can both move forward side by side. I think Ha Ni will be able to figure out the answer soon. We shouldn't be in an unbalance relationship. We should be covering up for the stuff that either of us is lacking of, then bringing ourselves forward, isn't it?

So please Ha Ni. Please stay strong. Love yourself more. Be a little more independent!

*****

(Below is the edited version of the part about Ha Ni running away from home. Written for those who couldn't understand Baek Seung Jo's feelings.)

[Note: This editted version is not by the scripwritter. It's just editted by the writter of the diary. This does not represent the idea of the original scripwritter. It's only the point of view of the author of this diary]



Ha Ni sitting alone under the lamp in the park. Bad guy Baek Seung Jo! I only wish that you can comfort me, saying 'Ha Ni, it's okay, just try harder' will do. Only need you to say that...

Seung Jo went after Ha Ni with her jacket, searching for Ha Ni. Seeing her sitting there, worried that she'll be cold and wanted to go over to put on her jacket for her. Ha Ni stood up suddenly and went off. Seung Jo can only follow behind her.

Seeing drunkards getting near to Ha Ni, Seung Jo was about to go over to protect her. But when he saw that even though Ha Ni is in shock but she's still looking around. He quickly hides behind a pillar.

Seung Jo: That's right Ha Ni. Don't be afraid. Just have to find the right path. You will definetely be able to do it!

Ha Ni suddenly walking away as if she thought of something. Seung Jo continues to follow her. Stars shine on both of them. Ha Ni who arrives home seems like she's in deep thought for the whole night, not being able to fall asleep.

Went out early in the morning without saying a thing. Seung Jo went into Ha Ni's room once he woke up but couldn't find Ha Ni there. Seung Jo quickly went downstairs to look for Ha Ni.

Seung Jo: Mom, where's Ha Ni?
Mom: She didn't come downstairs. Should be still in bed?
Seung Jo: She's not in her room!
Mom: Really? Where have she been so early? Is it because of your lecture last night she left the house?

This moment Ha Ni is already at the library. Table filled with books about future planning. Seung Jo who's worried for Ha Ni went around looking for her but still couldn't find her. She wouldn't answer her phone as well. Seung Jo who went right to Ha Ni's room once he got home but to find out that she's still not home.

Late at night, in order to wait for Ha Ni, Seung Jo walking to and fro outside their home. Seung Jo went to Ha Ni's room once the sun rise but she's still not back yet. Ha Ni went to the employment centre, listening to the reports about youth entrepreneurs. Seung Jo can only go look for her friends.

Seung Jo: You guys have any idea what have Ha Ni been doing recently?
Ju Ri: She didn't call us recently. You who are staying in the same house as her doesn't know, how would others have known?
Min Ah: Baek Seung Jo, last time it's Ha Ni looking for you everyday. Now it's your turn to look for her?

Seung Jo face turns red and walk away quickly. 'Oh Ha Ni, where are you?!'

Second day morning, Baek Seung Jo who still couldn't find Ha Ni stop eating anymore, place his spoon down and stood up.

Mom: You are not eating?
Seung Jo: No appetite.
Mom: Seung Jo-ah, lost your appetite because Ha Ni's not around?
Eung Jo: The two of them talking secretly at the balcony every night, now that Ha Ni's not around, Hyung looks like he's dying.
Mom: Really? Ha Ni, well done!!

Mom thought happily. Ha Ni is doing some character test on the computer, looking at the test result, Ha Ni nodding her head, keep making the 'hmmm' sounds!

Just then, a message came in, “I'm hungry, let's have lunch together!”

Ha Ni: Didn't meet for a few days, what has you got to lose to say 'I miss you'!

Another message came, “What were you doing these few days?”

Ha Ni: This means that he misses me right? Kekeke...silly!

Ha Ni walks towards the canteen full of smile. The two of them sitting side by side with coffee in their hands.

Ha Ni: Not asking me what was I doing for the past few days?
Seung Jo: Didn't I ask in the message?
Ha Ni: Does that mean that you miss me? Why does it seem so to me?
Seung Jo: Heard it, silly. Worried that you didn't have your lunch that's why I send you the message.




Seung Jo: What do you plan to do in future?
Ha Ni: Leaving you the past few days made me realize how childish I am. Making your life so difficult. Seems like I only think about myself.




Seung Jo: So have you decided after thinking through it?
Ha Ni: What do I really want to do, I really think about it for a long time. I read books, went to the employement centre, took the character test. But no matter how I think about it, I still want to do something that are able to assist you by your side, so I want to be a nurse!
Seung Jo: Seems like you not only thought about it, but also work very hard. So just do your best.




Seung Jo: Don't do this anymore. How many days have it been?
Ha Ni: You were saying you miss me? Right? I miss you too!
Seung Jo: I know. I know everything. I know you will come back to me like this, Oh Ha Ni!
Both of them walking hands in hands in the campus. Slowly there's only their voice can be heard.
Ha Ni: It's amazing that the character test I took tells me that nurse is very suitable for my character. Seems like it's a very suitable job for me! It's like the two of us were destined to be together!
Seung Jo: Really? Did it also says that you are very careless, and silly all that?
Ha Ni: No!
Seung Jo: Then maybe the result is wrong!
Ha Ni: Hey! (About to hit Seung Jo)

Seung Jo laughed and ran away. Till both their voices could not longer be heard.


;;

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