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Thursday, February 13, 2014

BAEK SEUNG JO'S DIARY EP 15

CREDIT: MISCHIEVOUS KISS OFFICIAL WEBSITE (SEUNG JO'S DIARY COLUMN)
Translated to Chinese By: Korea Version Mischievous Kiss
Translated to English By: reena29shadow
Edited By: ChaBori204


EPISODE 15


This is ridiculous! Getting married at 21 years old? Mom, I beg that you stop interfering my life. Mom is the reason why I hid my feelings for Ha Ni till now. I still don't have the power to stop Mdm Hwang Geum Hee enthusiasim towards Ha Ni. Plus,I'm the one who mention about getting married. There's nothing I can say anymore. I should have just say we'll try dating. Why did I say about getting married? And now it turns out this way!

Caught hold by my Mom. But maybe Mom is right. School will definetely starts to get busy when I get into Medical School. Definetely doesn't have time. Maybe after marriage I will have a much quiet and comfort environment for studying. But wedding preparation is much complicated that I imagined. Wedding ring, gown, photoshoot. Specially hate wedding photoshoot.

Just by the thought of the past when I was being tortured by my Mom...it's not funny at all. Even if I have to force myself I still couldn't.

Look here, look there. Have to do as what others ask me to is not me, Baek Seung Jo's style. This is the moment that I really want to run away from. There's really a lot of things after getting into Medical School, but this two women have to make my life so difficult. Indeed. The path towards being an adult is complicated and dangerous. Can't it be more simple? I really couldn't understand those women who have to make the even so complicated and grand.




“Won't be able to accommodate you even after we got married?”

Seung Jo-ah...why? You are the one who says that you like me and want to get married with me. Love is for two persons to look for our similarities. Love is about accomodating. That's it. Right now. Even saying things like this! Is this what you wish for? This is all you can give? So I still can't expect anything from you. If what I'm getting in the end is disappointment, the so-called love...so I still can't expect anything. The so-called love...how much I long for you....Egoistic Baek Seung Jo, I hate you!!



To Ha Ni who have always been accommodating to me no matter how stubborn I am. I still said things like “I'm full of regret now, but it's still not too late to think about it!”

The depress look on Ha Ni is making my heart broke. Indeed, it's difficult for someone like me to explain things properly. I always knew that no matter when I were to say things like this, it will make Ha Ni feels sad.

I just dislike all the formality that takes so much time and just don't like my Mom to interfere with my life. Ha Ni was also got involved suddenly in this. She must have felt more lost than me. But I still went my anger on her. Even if it's difficult, but I just have to express my true feelings to Ha Ni will do.

Because she already have met the me, who will feel frustrated but will also be able to smile and live my life.

Love requires practice right? That way to say things that is embarrasing. The way that are able to express my true feelings. When comes to love, any genius is clumsy. Just when I was thinking about doing something for Ha Ni to comfort her, I thought of Ha Ni's Mom and Grandma. Both who left Ha Ni behind when she's still so young must be in pain. Looking at father-in-law sitting all alone in the dark restaurant, it's just felt heavy as if I saw a big stone. The feeling of a man like father-in-law having to send off his only daughter, how unwilling and lonely will it feel? How lonely will it be to be without his wife.




Under the blue sky, even a place like this is full of green. In this land without giving and taking, everything is quiet and peaceful. Here to a place that all pain and sorrow are left behind. Greeting Mom and Grandma. First time meeting you. Mom, Grandma, will you accept me? Mom, I will protect her. Regardless of illness, sorrow or hardships...will always be by her side to protect her. Mom, thank you for giving birth to Ha Ni, allowing her to come to my side. For her to inherit your passion, thank you.

No matter how cram, she's still able to come by my side a step at a time. Because of Ha Ni's never-give-up will, I finally understood that she's a woman that really deserves to be loved. We will definetely be blessed. Living each day doing our best.

Grandma, thank you for telling Ha Ni such beautiful things. Being happy and bringing happiness to others. When I was still hesitating, this words become very important key in my life. Here, I'll accept your blessing and thank you for bestowing Ha Ni to me.




Mom, Grandma, I'm getting married. Saw it? This is the person I love. He's handsome, does well in everything. He's a wonderful husband. Although at times he will make me feel sad, but he also makes me feel absolute happiness.

Seung Jo-ah, thank you. Thank you for comforting the pain in me that even I start to forget about. I think I will forget Mom's face, Grandma's face. I always worried that if I forget, Mom and Grandma will also forget about me. So I always have to look at their photos before I go to bed. Thank you for comforting me. I'm really grateful that it's you. Baek Seung Jo, who is standing beside me. Very happy that you understand my pain.




That happy? Just because we are going to Jeju Island, you are so happy that you started jumping around me. So cute! I can't help but smile. Okay, keep smiling beside me.

Teasing you is really interesting. Teasing you slightly, you start to throw temper. But after a while, you'll start smiling again. Looking at your smile...gives me the feeling that I'm really alive. Great!




“Hyung, from my point of view, you should get married with someone like Oh Ha Ni. Both of you will be happy. Congrats!”

Yes, Eun Jo. Even you see it that way. Just like you said, Oh Ha Ni indeed foolish, but this fool is able to do many things that I'm not able to. She can read others' thoughts. She can get close to others very easily. She's not afraid to jump into the sea even she doesn't know how to swim. So I like Oh Ha Ni. 10% of her is enough to cover up all the blanks in me.




“Dad, thank you!”
“You can't cry. People will tease you tomorrow that you don't look nice!”

Through the smile that Dad managed after much difficulty, I can see Dad's tears in her eyes. The smile that Dad finally manage to garner. I think at this moment, he must be having a terrible time burying his thoughts for Mom.

Don't cry Oh Ha Ni. After losing his love, he still have to send his only daughter away. Isn't it too much to cry for someone who will be going to the side of her loved one? The reason for tearing is sorrow. So when I smile again, my heart is filled with unlimited amount of feelings made up of sorrow and happiness.




'Dang...dang...dang...dang...'
I will live well, don't worry about me.
'Dang...dang...dang...dang...'
Please don't blame yourself anymore for not able to give me more. Because Dad, you gave me the love that I'm not able to exchange for with everything in this world.




Me, Baek Seung Jo, vows to bride Oh Ha Ni.




Me, bride Oh Ha Ni, vows to groom Baek Seung Jo.

No matter under what circumstances, I will always love him, respect him. Also respecting elders, becoming the honest and reliable other half. The most important thing is, I will only love you. Living each day with happiness I have with you in my heart. Living each day with feeling thankful to you in my heart.




Oh Ha Ni, you even dropped the wedding ring! How stupid.
“Stop bullying me Baek Seung Jo. Second kiss is not at that time in the rain but it's at the resort isn't it? You can't really act.” Ha Ni's face suddenly brightened up.

Baek Eun Jo! How could you let out the secret! What are you doing, Oh Ha Ni? You are too daring. Adults are all around! Even so, I still very happy. This is the first time you initiated to kiss me.

Although filled by the laughter of our guests, face burning with embarrassement, but my heart warmed up slowly. Like a giant fragrance sachet exploding. Like how fragrance diffussed deep into your heart.




“I will work hard. Although I still have many shortcomings, but I will try my best to become a suitable wife to you.”

Ha Ni, you don't have to work hard for it. I like you the way you are. Although there are times you make me panic, times that I feel you are really absurd. But no matter how you are, you are still the one I like. I will fill up your shortcomings. As for my shortcomings, I hope you can fill it up for me. Please become the little part of me. The little part that is going straight into my heart now.




Silly Oh Ha Ni.

Drank the whole glass of wine and fell asleep. Our first night, there's so much to look forward to. How should we spend this sweet and happy night? Listen to music? Light the candle? Okay, so I'm the only one considering about all these...

Complain about headache once you woke up, not only making me speechless, also causing us not to be able to do anything, silly.




What's wrong with you? Other girl holding on to your husband like this and you are not going to do anything? Didn't you say you love me? Please be more proactive. I keep turning back to look for you. This girl who kept following me was really irritating!

But because I pity her useless husband, worried the atmosphere would turn bad, so I just let her be. But what's wrong with you? Chatting so happily with oher guy...




Oh Ha Ni, what are you doing now? Why? It's only a simple check up for patient. If you can't accept it, there's no way we can live together, you understand? If you always behave like this, how can we go on in future? There's still difference between female and male patient? It's really pointless jeolousy...




You think I don't have any pride? Why do you always have to embarrass me in front of others? Reproach me in front of that woman. There are times I don't know which path I should take. Actually you don't love me as much as I love you. It's so lonely to walk with someone like you. It's still better when the time of my one sided love. Without expecting anything, will feel happy just by looking at your back view. Seung Jo-ah, sometimes even when I look down on myself, I'm afraid that if I continue to expect anything from you, I will start to hate you. I'm really afraid.



So you are here.

Running out looked for you who cried and ran away. I already thrown all the anger away from my mind. Me, who are helpless when I comes to love have lost you. Now you must be crying somewhere alone. I searched for you frantically. There's really no way to spend a peaceful day. Naughty Oh Ha Ni. You silly girl. You still don't understand my feelings?




Ha Ni, sorry! I told myself during our wedding that I will not make you cry anymore. Because when I see your tears, it's as painful as throwing my heart into burning charcoal.

So, just smile. This is the only only reason that I will smile. You look prettiest when you are smiling. Once you smile, I'm willing to piggy back you round the world. When you smile, I'm willing to be an idiot for you.



Finally, there's only the two of us left. Why did I feel so nervous? Smelling your fragrance was making me giddy. Why was my heart thumping so fast? As though my whole body and heart were burning. Heat building up in my body.

You always make my heart races faster. As though the emerging spring water, as though a blown up balloon, my heart was being filled up.



Silly girl. Cute at times and pretty at times. Why do I like you? Not really that pretty nor cute. Why do I always miss you? What have you done to me? Why do I feel like I'm being poisoned by you. It's so solid and urgent. Things that I can see seems so shiny. Anything that I touch felt so good. I think this is because I love you.

Feels like the wind is laughing. Feels like the birds are laughing. I think these is because I love you. When I hugged your shoulder, I realized that you were trembling. I think this is because you love me. If you're no longer exist in this world, how am I going to live my life?




I waited too long for this moment. After much suffering, my heart races towards you. I opened the lips that you shut tightly because of being shy. Hugging you as though you are a reward to me. It felt so warm to be close to you. It's like I've been living here all along, perfect warmth. Not feeling unfamiliar at all. The love that makes us dizzy flowing between us, in this moonlit night. Without any words, we were able to feel each other blood racing.

What? Asked me to wait for a minute? I was not able to breathe for the past two nights. Only looking at the sleeping you, do you know how hard it was for me to suppress the hot blooded me?




Let us grow together. We...working hard.
My little Noah's snail. My Oh Ha Ni. Until the day you become a tree, till you are able to provide shade, till you are able to produce fruits.

Me who uses registration of marriage as reward was indeed a little annoying. But teasing you is really interesting. I couldn't stop it. If I were to surrender to you and Mom so easily, wasn't it a let down to my name of genius Baek Seung Jo? The invisible Baek Seung Jo won't surrender to you so easily. It would hurt my pride! Keke!

The thought of me living my life under the control of you and Mom is making me feel the agony. So I'm definitely not going to surrender. Love requires to have some regulator like this, fighting! My forever joy, Oh Ha Ni!


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